VALENTINE’S DAY WARNING FOR WOMEN OVER 50
Five Ways to Keep Your Heart and Wallet Safe when Using Online Dating Apps
By Donna Marie Hayes
author of These Broken Roads: Scammed and Vindicated, One Woman’s Story
1. Be wary of quick declarations of undying love and devotion.
One month into our “relationship”, Javier told me that he loved me. It caught me off guard, but I was a vulnerable middle-aged woman who wanted to believe that love had no timeframe and that he did love me. He didn’t. I was being primed for a real-estate scam.
2. Follow your intuition.
With Javier, I had moments of suspicion. Like when I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas alone, because he claimed he needed to spend the holidays with his mother, because she was at “death’s door.” Or the time he spent the night at my apartment while I was traveling without telling me beforehand. He had keys and claimed he missed me. I convinced myself that my past relationship traumas were affecting my ability and willingness to trust.
3. Scammers prey on emotions.
Javier had a litany of sob stories – he was suicidal, his mother was dying, and his young son was being bullied in school – complete with pictures. These pulled at my heartstrings, and I wanted to help. His plan worked!
4. Insist on visiting your new love interest’s home.
Javier told me that his neighborhood was crime-ridden and unsafe. He also claimed that his apartment had a rodent infestation. He knew I avoid dangerous neighborhoods and experience extreme panic at the sight of rodents. So I didn’t insist. He didn’t want me to find out that he lived with his mother instead of in his own apartment, as he had claimed.
5. Scammers are not always strangers.
Some scammers are bold enough to meet in person and enter into a “relationship.” My scammer wined and dined me and even tattooed my initials across his chest. But it was all a fake. Once the money was gone, so was he.
Donna Marie Hayes experienced a romance scam that drained her bank account and took some of her pension. She is the author of These Broken Roads: Scammed and Vindicated, One Woman’s Story, a memoir in which she charts her experience and how fought back and won! These Broken Roads (Sibylline Press) is available through bookshop.org and Amazon.